When You Fight - Do You Fight Fair?

If you want to save/keep your marriage or if you are concerned about getting married, one way to help the relationship is to learn to fight fair. Everyone who is in a relationship has had or will eventually have an argument or two about something, but the trick to letting bygones be bygones is to fight with the other persons feeling in mind.


Listen as You Want to Be Listened To – Usually when people are involved in an argument, instead of listening to all that the other person has say, that time is instead spent thinking of what smart remark they will make as soon as they think of it. When you fight in this manner you will never really hear what your partner is saying to you and the issue will more than likely never be resolved. Make it a point to really listen to what the other person is saying, it may one day be something that you will wish you had heard.

Save the Attack for the Sharks in the Movies – No one likes to be attacked especially by a loved one. When you have a point to make, structure your statement in a way that takes the attack out of it. Instead of saying things in a hurtful manner you can rearrange the words so that what you are saying will come across not an attack. Example; You are so thoughtless, why can’t you remember to pay the bill on time?! Try This; When you forget to pay the bill on time, it causes problems with our finances.

Don’t Tell Me it’s Over – Do not say the relationship is over. Constantly threatening to end the relationship is not a good idea. First of all if you say it often enough, it may begin to sound like an excellent idea and life without you may not seem so bad after all. Lastly, are you sure you want to do that? Unless you are seriously ready to end the relation, don’t threaten to do it.

In every relationship - friendship, sister, brother, parents... - there will be conflicts and arguments, you can use these rules to help you keep all of your relationships stable.